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The store was opened to coincide with the new 20th anniversary edition of Kosher Sex, the book I published in that at the time was extremely controversial but has, two decades after its original appearance, gone mainstream. Sex is utterly broken in our time. And, as it turns out, they might be the ones that most need these values. When I wrote Kosher Sex 20 years ago, sex was being torn apart by two flawed conservative and liberal extremes, seen either as procreational or recreational. The Right waged war on contraception and abortion while the Left sacked monogamy and marriage.

While different, these conceptions of sexuality were equally unromantic. Whether for adventuring or family building, both made sex less an electrifying thing to experience and more a burdensome thing to do. I decided I would publish a manual for couples to use sex for intimacy.

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In it, I would use the Jewish laws of family purity — mikveh and nidda — as a launching point for describing what a truly erotic relationship based on desire and lust would look like. I came under ferocious attack. Why did I risk my standing as a religious leader to write it? Because having served as rabbi at Oxford University for 11 years, I was amazed at how broken sex was among young people, let alone married couples where it was becoming non-existent.

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What gave me unique insight into sex was that I was counseling two totally different groups of people. On the one hand, there were the students who were not married and were having recreational sex.


On the other, there were married couples who wanted a passionate life that could connect them but whose marriages were often completely platonic and bereft of physical and emotional intimacy. In this sampling, I saw that sex was either being abused, misused and leading to pain rather than pleasure, or for married couples, was something they watched others doing on the TVs in their bedrooms.

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Then there was the fact that as a child of divorce, I had long pondered the all-important question of how to keep a husband and wife happy under the same roof for the duration of their lives. It goes without saying that I was shocked, surprised and ultimately gratified that a book that I thought might sell a few hundred copies at best — and only in the Jewish community — became an international best-seller that was translated into 17 languages.

Seeing that the book was a sensation in the Czech Republic or Ireland or translated into Chinese and Thai was especially gratifying. Some in the rabbinate argued that I was degrading the profession by writing a scandalous book. I fought back respectfully but determinedly, insisting that our job as rabbis was to address all matters of life and all concerns of relationships.

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Where should people go if they want to learn more about sex and intimacy, I asked? To Hugh Hefner and Playboy or the rabbis and the Talmud? I was especially edified in seeing so many non-Jews gravitating to my message, because I had always believed that of all the blessings that Judaism bestowed upon the world, its healthy attitude towards sexuality — which was largely unknown — was one of the greatest of all.

For many millennials though, sex has become something far worse. Sex, for so many young people today, has become something painful.

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More and more, young people see sex as a matter of attracting as many people as possible. Devoid of love, security and closeness, sex will eventually leave us cuddling an emotional porcupine. Kosher Sex, the store, translates those ideas into something eminently practical and practicable. According to Jewish values, sex is not about having fun or having children. Sex, God taught us, is about the infinite process of unification we call intimacy. He shall cling unto his wife. And they shall become one flesh.

Kosher Sex is the motion that brings forth emotion. That intimacy-enhancing teachings and products would figure into this equation should not be controversial. Products that rescue marriages from the morgue are absolutely kosher, seeing that they allow husbands and wives to connect through the medium of passion and pleasure. Like Verizon Media, our partners may also show you ads that they think match your interests.

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